"In Heaven, I wouldn't know who he is when my back is against the wall."

Have you ever felt displaced about being on earth but couldn't figure out why or put into words that strange feeling of "Why am I here/How did I get here?"  Not a question of your purpose, but a strange feeling of displacement in your earthly existence?

Since childhood I've infrequently had a feeling of earthly vs spiritual disconnect come over me.  A feeling I hated because I couldn't shake it off right away; one which always made me feel out of sorts, like I just didn't belong here.  In 2006 I felt it in a different way.  I was suddenly overcome with homesickness and started talking aloud, "God I want to come home.  I miss Heaven; I want to come home even if just for a moment, I miss it."  Now I thought this odd, that I would feel this longing, this homesickness when I in my humanity had absolutely no memory or knowledge of living in Heaven.  I started to understand verses from old gospels like, "I'm just a stranger a long way from home."  "Why should I long for Heaven and home."  They now had new meaning to me, for what God revealed was that before my body was ever created on earth, he had created my spirit in Heaven.  He explained it was my spirit that was longing for Heaven, and rightly so, because although my humanity has no knowledge or memory of it at all, my spirit does.

I wasn't going through any specific trial, tribulation, or test, my spirit was just weirdly and deeply homesick; a disconnect between the spirit me and the carnal me.  I wanted to go home!  But God spoke to me in that loving parent voice and said, "I know you're homesick, I know you miss Heaven, but you've got to finish your journey there." and my response, "I know daddy, I know I've got to complete my earthly journey, but I sure wish I could come home even if just for a moment."  We continued to talk through that moment and I began to see the privilege of being sent to earth to do a work for him and to get to know his power outside of the protection and glory of Heaven's walls.  To be on earth means God entrusted me to complete a purpose while also affording me the opportunity to know him in a different way than I would in Heaven alone.  In Heaven, I wouldn't know who he is when my back is against the wall.  In Heaven I would already see and know his glory and power, but on earth, I get to make choices for a glory I cannot see.  I get to grow to know him and have my trust and surety in his power tested and tried. 

Angels and heavenly hosts have their appointments and those of us sent to earth have ours.  We are chosen, hand picked for God's glory and purpose, thus God needs us to complete our pilgrimage in this land of the dying as we return to the land of the living.  We have a God to learn, a savior to accept, witness to spread, purpose to discover, destiny to walk into, and a God to glorify.  We have a Father to make proud. 

Earth isn't where we live to die, but where we die to live.  We die to selfishness to live for a purpose beyond us.  We're all on a Pilgrim's Journey whether we accept Christ or not, and we've been given the choice of where we end up when our journeys are complete.  We can choose the Father that sent us and stay on the highway back to Heaven, or the enemy that's waiting on us.  One means life, the other means death.  Our bodies will go bad, that's a given, but our spirits are the essence of who we are and they live on no matter which direction we choose.  At the end of the day our choices do make a difference, thus I choose to walk my journey with God, I choose life.  I haven't always made the best choices along the way, but that's the beauty of a pilgrim's journey.  You keep learning along the way.  And if you're a sensible and intelligent being, you will allow the wrong choices to eventually lead you into the right ones.

Stay on the mission for which you were sent.  Stay on the highway to Heaven and when your journey is complete, you can look behind you and see a line of witnesses following suit, just as you saw ahead on your journey those witnesses that went before you.  That's our mission, to keep Highway Heaven moving with a steady flow of witness and kingdom building traffic.  We can't see it like Heaven can, but God does.  Like the traffic helicopter hovering over interstates with a birds eye view of what's going on, so God watches Highway Heaven from his throne and he is constantly sending the next pilgrim out, while St Peter is constantly ushering the next "mission accomplished" pilgrim in.

There are no traffic jams on the highway to Heaven because whenever we get sidetracked, distracted, or outside of God's will, we automatically take ourselves out of the flow.  When we take that detour, make a wrong turn, or stray off the highway because we took our eyes off our destination, God allows it so we can get out of the way of those who are continuing in his will and are forging straight ahead.  And believe me, God has no shortage of flow keepers when another gets sidetracked.  Highway Heaven has its curves, its rough spots, and its bumps, but the way is much easier and the burdens of the journey, though existent, are much lighter.  Matthew 11:29-30 Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.  For my yoke is easy and my burden is light. (Jesus)

It really is a highway to Heaven, this pilgrim's journey, but there is also the wrong turn that can put us on the road to Hell.  Don't be fooled by the detour signs, the beautiful and enticing seductions that camouflage the road to death and destruction, because before you know it you will have strayed off course finding yourself on an unfamiliar road.  This other road, though enticing, is only a smoke screen.  You'll soon enough find that road will turn into a dark and lonely one.  The traffic doesn't flow very well.  Jams, rubbernecking, complete stops and standstills, dead ends will be prevalent.  People honking horns, traffic going in all different directions, and the ones who finally realize it's not the road they meant to get off on and start trying to turn around or finding the next exit to get off and get back onto Highway Heaven will find themselves being blocked, cursed out, and not easily let through by the ones who are determined to stay on the road to see what's ahead.  You'll find that there is nothing good about it, easier, quicker, or user friendly and you will want to get the hell out of there while you can.  It's much harder to get off this road than it was to look away from the signs to Heaven and stray onto it, but it can be done.  This road, this smoke screen is a chaotic one because it is not The Way of Holiness. 

I realized in 2006 I (my spirit) cannot return home until my mission down here is accomplished, or rather God's mission through me down here is accomplished, thus I went from feeling sick in spirit for my heavenly home to reverencing God for even thinking of me, choosing me, and sending me.  I knew then without any doubt that I must complete my pilgrim's journey.  I must please God because he entrusted this to me. What a privilege, what an honor, that he would create me special for such a task.  And if he has the confidence that I will walk this walk and be victorious in witness and glorifying him, then I darn well better walk this walk and be victorious in witness and glorifying him.  Come hell or high water, I am going to complete my journey so that when I return to my spiritual birthplace, I can return with "Mission Accomplished."

Isaiah 35:8-10
And a highway will be there; it will be called the way of Holiness.  The unclean will not journey upon it; it will be for those who walk in that way; wicked fools will not go about on it.
No lion will be there, nor will any ferocious beast get up on it; they will not be found there, But only the redeemed will walk there, and the ransomed of the Lord will return.  They will enter Zion with singing; everlasting joy will crown their heads.  Gladness and joy will overtake them, and sorrow and sighing will flee away.

Allison Royalette